LA Noire Review – Adventuring in LA!

Hi there, good fellows of the internet. Whilst I am here, I will endeavour to entertain you with a ‘mini-review’ if you will, of what I’ve been wasting the previous week of my life playing. Because I don’t actually have a life. So here we go, week one…

This week I’ve been somewhat of a workaholic. That’s right, clock in to the office at 9am every morning, examine a dead body and catch the bad guy before heading back home to my loving wife and children. Wait, what? Of course not, me, working? HA! Instead I’ve been clocking up my hours of LA Noire.

I must have completed this game about 5 times over in my attempt to be a successful trophy whore, but that’s okay because it’s such a glorious piece of art that I could happily spend my days in my cave I call a bedroom, creating a carpet of crumbs as I keep myself alive enough to be whisked 70 years back in time as a famous detective. And that’s basically the whole story; you’re a detective, you solve crimes, you shoot people and drive around LA. Finally, someone’s everyday task turned into something fun and not quite possibly the horrific and life-ruining experience it may actually be.

The game is quite often compared to Heavy Rain and the most striking similarity in these two games are the graphics. Only LA Noire doesn’t insist of having an awkward kissing/sex scene in which coloured polygons bash against each other. No, the graphics in this game are much brighter, smother and whole lot sexier (that’s not weird is it? Finding graphics sexy I mean? I’m just going to assume your answer is no and carry on…).

The one thing I love more than anything in this game is the radio. It must be the only game that doesn’t have me yelling at the screen to let me import my own goddamn songs. Why? Because the songs are beautiful, the talking is taken from real 40s radio programs and the spoken adverts can also be seen in picture form around the city. I think this calls for an epic win. But seriously, you may just fall in love with your parents/grandparents’ CDs from now on. I know I have half the radio songs on my phone currently… just don’t tell anyone, I have street cred to keep up, init?

Who knows what wild and epic leap I’ll make next week, maybe I’ll travel to the future, or the present (do I travel to the present or what? What’s the deal there?), or maybe just into an alternate dimension. We shall see…

Tags LA Noire

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Sian Bradley

Sian is a co-founder of Cubed Gamers, having been around since 2011. When she isn't helping to manage the site, she's exploring every nook and cranny in games to create guides you didn't know you needed.