The news has been awash with a certain high-ranking politician’s antics involving a pig while at university, and while we can’t confirm that such a story is true, we can suggest to Mr Cameron a number of games that he can enjoy. So sit back in your cushy chair at 10 Downing Street, have a cup of tea and enjoy this piggy paradise of games.
The aim of the game is too smash hundreds of pigs, which is brilliant, but ultimately you’re on the wrong side. The pigs are your enemies, when in reality you’d love to care for them and use “private parts of anatomy” on them, not furious fowl.
The Legend of Zelda
You can spend hours on Wind Waker playing with the pigs on your home island. Attack the big black one and he attacks you back, kinky. As a bonus, Ganon himself is a pig; so many games are spent hunting down pigs. Except, you have to defeat him at the end of every game.
The majority of this game is spent watching lots and lots of pig sex. It’s what the world truly needs.
There’s nothing better than living among pigs. The only downside to this game is that you can’t invite them back to your place.
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Although pigs feature heavily in Amnesia, you have to avoid them and you never want to avoid a pig. The whole game puts them in a very negative light, when everyone knows that pigs are a university student’s best friend.
This isn’t a hugely popular game, but is one of the best on the market – you get to care for your very own pig. From feeding to dressing, this game has it all. Washing the pig and getting it all soapy is a definite plus.
You get to ride the pigs. Of course, a saddle gets in the way of the real bareback experience, but the thrill is still there.
Squishy the Suicidal Pig
In this game, you can spend hours playing with a dead pig. Perfect, isn’t it? Squishy has made a pact with the devil and must complete a number of tasks to join his parents in Piggy Heaven. A dead pig doing a deal with the devil? Sounds familiar.