Twitch Stream Banned for Dedication to Science

Twitch streamer MammaryInfluence has been suspended for three months following a recent live stream in which she revealed a tattoo of Professor Richard Dawkins stashed in the gash of her glutes. The shocking incident occurred after a slew of accusations were leveled at the streamer in chat, claiming she was a vacuous attention-seeker who’s surreptitiously a member of the Westboro Baptist Church. In an apparently innocent attempt to prove that she was neither an uneducated poser nor a member of a homophobic, Islamophobic, anti-Semitic cult, Mammary brandished her tribute to the evolutionary biologist without thinking about the consequences and now has no way of earning money for playing Overwatch at four in the morning.

In an apology vlog to her subscribers on YouTube, Mammary blubbered the words, “I’m sorry for any distress my profaned anus might have caused. It wasn’t my intention to sicken or arouse anyone. I was merely trying to kill two birds with one stone and ended up inadvertently perpetuating the very image I was trying to cast off. I hope that one day you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.” She has since moved over to YouTube Gaming, where her problems have begun all over again.

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