5 New Uses For Your Old Wii

For those of you able to afford the new Nintendo gimmick, we take a look at what you can do with your old one.

Paperweight

Paperweight

Not everyone is creative or crafty and we’ve come up with an easy-to-create new use for you. Don’t you hate it when ‘fresh air’ decides to blast through your window and blow your hard work everywhere? Seriously, what purpose does it even serve apart from making you shiver and giving you a bad hair day? How about when your cat uses your papers as a target as it soars across the room, scattering them across the floor? Well don’t go spending money on one of those fancy paperweights, your Wii does just as good a job and it’ll hold your coffee too – bonus. Just don’t knock that over, coffee-covered paper is never a pretty sight.

 
 

Bricks

Bricks

Money seems to be tight wherever you go; Christmas and large scale debts are hitting us hard. What makes it worse is the massively overpriced necessity known as a house – £150000 for a pile of bricks and a couple of carpets? No thank you. Instead, gather hundreds of cheap Wiis and stack them on top of one another. If you’re lucky, you may not even need cement. Even better – if you plug them all in you get in-built heating and lighting no matter where in the house you are. Beautiful. As long as you ignore the electricity bill, we never said that would be cheap. Now how do I get inside?

 
 

Tennis Racquet

Tennis Racquet

This one is my personal favourite – mainly because it makes use of any unwanted controllers you may have (hey, yours has a screen in it now!). Simply superglue a couple together, tape them to the back of the Wii and voila! Instant racquet. Now it’s purely a case of sending balls hurtling towards it and seeing how far you can send them flying… shortly before watching your old, beloved console disintegrate between your fingers, sending shards of plastic speeding towards your laughing friends’ faces. Happy now?

 
 

Sledge

Sledge

Have you ever wanted to send your hamster down a snow-covered hill? How about your new born child? Or maybe you just have a really tiny backside. Whatever your problem, the Wii is your saviour! It’s the perfect little sledge that promises to send you hurtling down any hill you like. Just strap yourself in (if you don’t like the feeling of imminent danger) and you’re on your way. Hours of fun and much more portable than those safe plastic things. Could anything be more entertaining?

 
 

Christmas Tree Decoration

Tree Decoration

For those of you that love the festivities but would rather stay inside where it’s cosy and warm, we present our final fun use for your old Wii – a tree decoration. We all know that angels, fairies and stars are outdated, yet nobody is brave enough to say so. Well, here’s your chance to show off your courage and make a daring statement. Just pop the console on top of your tree, showing a few branches in the disc drive if need be, and you’re on your way to fashion fame. If it proves to be too heavy, just get rid of all the circuitry inside. Who needs that junk anyway?

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Sian Bradley

Sian is a co-founder of Cubed Gamers, having been around since 2011. When she isn’t helping to manage the site, she’s exploring every nook and cranny in games to create guides you didn’t know you needed.

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